This is my girl. She will be turning 12 this year. Seeing her grow up these latest years always make me whisper thankful thoughts to God. There are moments when i see her as she sleep, laugh, get angry, play — i felt so remorseful thinking that at one moment while i was still conceiving her – i thought of letting her go. That decisive thought stayed in my mind for half a day but then when they explained to me what is to be done, i became scared of what will be the future outcome, i decided to keep her. I told my mom, am gonna go on conceiving her no matter what. If this is a hard mistake, then i should learn the lesson the hard way.
Months later, the guy told me that if he it is his decision to be heard, then his decision would be for me to let the baby go. But since it’s my decision so he has to respect my decision. I never feel bad he thought of that because also me myself have thought of letting go the fetus.
What if i let the fetus go? What if i let go of my baby? Then, we would never see the smiles and the growth of this girl. She was a very cute baby while growing up that i wish she was just a wee baby forever. hehehe Though she has grown, she still have that sweet girly smile.
If you’re joining;
+ try to leave some love to other participants! Specially to the one up above you!
+ A link back to this post or to this blog would be appreciated.
1. Do you like to read a book that is in movie format before you view the movie, or afterwards?
i have read books but has never watched their movie equivalent like the books of John Grisham.
2. Have you ever had a dream about being a place you’ve never been, and days or years later, you end up there? Not really.
3. How do you dream… in black-and-white or color? Colored.
4. How many personal ‘fantasy worlds’ exist in your head? I don’t think i have one.
5. What would you like to learn more about? Parenting and to be a good person to people. 
6. What was the last family event you attended? Burial.
7. Have you told your Mom and Dad, lately, how much you love and appreciate them? No. We are not wordy people But in ways, my mom always knows it.
8. Too much to do, what do you do? I list them and pick the priority. And i do the ones which takes much time.
9. Do you like to save ‘the best for last’? Nope. Actually it depends on the context.
10. Pick an online friend. Only ONE. Tell me something about her. A link to her blog/site so we can take a peek! Mitch! We have been friends for 5 years now but we haven’t seen each other in real yet. I met her online while she was still single (engaged) til she got married, til she got pregnant, have a baby, and now a full time WAHM. We had the chance to exchange some gifts over the years but we haven’t met yet. Luckily my boyfriend have already met her husband in 2006 when he was on his way to see me. And if by chance he went back to Mitch home after the plane left them, they could have met. Lucky my guy coz he was also able to met Deye. Ako? Ala pa talaga. And soon, Mitch is off to India to spend a 2 months vacation.
She blogs alot, and she’s one of my inspiration to start blogging. Her main blog is When Silence Speaks. Then one day in the Philippines, she made another blog called SAHM-one. She got so many but will just mention these two.
You may read more answers to the questions this week - HERE.
OCTOBER 24
Were you taught and trained to do the household chores at a very young age? If yes, would you implement the same to your children?
My answer:
Yes, i was taught. At a young age of six and seven, i have to help my mom wash clothes, can sweep the yard, water the plants, help fix things at home. Since am the eldest, i was also tasked to take good care of my siblings.
Right now, am trying to implement it to my daughter, but she is not as receptive as i was when i was young because i got in conflict with my mom. Dimple grew up with lola at her side so her grandma does most of the housework for her. 
I can even say at times – she’s lucky, right? But to me, it looks like she will be a lazy girl. hehehee But am confident she will changed when she wll become a teen-ager.
Since she did not have fever again last night, she was back to school today so that she won’t miss any quizzes. At 6 am, i find myself alone with her. I really wish for a set-up like this, just me and her in an everday life. I would wonder how will we get along with the household chores, but i think we would be doing ok.
My mom left for a meeting in CDO early today that is why at 6 I have to get up to check what we will have for breakfast. She was up too bt not before her grandma left so she was left wondering if her grandma carried some bottle of water or any food to really make her alright along the way. At 7:15 we both left the house.
IN the afternoon at 5, i tried to call home no one answered. So either of them are not yet home. I came home late because there was some farewell get together held at the “Admin” kitchen, so i have to stay back to overlook the place especially the after care so i just can’t go home at 5:30. Since i can’t get home late, i was wondering if she was home and what she will do home being alone. I got so many thoughts in mind that makes me at times tag myself as a no good mom. But i kept that thought aside instead strive hard to really become a good mom.
When i arrived home, she’s already in, reading, and my mom taking a shower. I carried some slices of choc cake and 2 pcs of cheesy puto (one for her and one for my mom) and she was happy.
It was good to be home!
Last tuesday as i was posting my entry, i was also learning at the same time a new thing with PS. I really like to share this because never had I imagine i could do this. But now i realized that with a little tutoring and a determination to learn, one can really learn.
Thanks to Rhoen for the patience in teaching me the steps to make these picture frames.
–am really happy that i was able to learn this kind of framing. these were what ive done after the tutorial. it’s a week ago today. from time to time, i tried to frame more pics. i have not yet memorized the steps, so i still look at my notes.
Another thing to make me a happy momma is that last Friday, i picked my daughter’s first grading card in school. It was not really the high of my standards but still better off then others. She got the highest grade of 95 and the lowest of 91. I have some doubts if that will still increase or not, but i hope it won’t go down anymore.
It was a good week, TT’s moms. Hope you too out there!
Tags: accomplishments, dimple, family, hobbies, life, parenting, Photo Shop Tutorial, photography, Rhoen Catolico, school grades
The Growing Girl, Tuesday Toot, life, mommy community | admin, 16 Sep 08 | 
Comments (2)
SEPTEMBER 5 – How would you rate yourself being a mother, 10 being the highest.
Wow thats’ a tough one and really i can’t rate myself as mom all in all because it’s often i would say am not a good mother being a mom on the go at that. I was not there for my children especially in their toddler years. Though i was there when they were born but not so long after that they were left to the care of my mother and my son to the care of my ex-hubs. It was a choice i can’t avoid. It’s should be my mom who will answer this question. hehehee. But if it calls for financial support, i surely got the highest rating. That’s the only reason why i was a mom on the go, why i missed those moments when i should be with my children.
I found this letter in a magazine and it is very touching. I think it’s worth sharing here. Here’s what it says –
My Dear Daddy,
I do not exactly know what to write on this blank piece of paper. I know you have ths ame awkwrd feeling that I have now. Calling somebody “daddy” is foreign to me, how much more writing to one? All my life I have been wondering how it feels to have a father. Haven’t you thought how proud you would have been if you were thre to welcome me into this world? Why did you leave so soon? Neither Mom could explain.
Mom did a good job in raising me up. I could have been a rebel or a drop-out in school. I could have been. But i was not. I finished highschool with flying colors. Mama is a good mother. She’s a tough chick. Makes me wanna ask why you left her. On second thought, may you were not really meant for each other. But please, don’t ever think taht my coming out of this world was a mistake. I was a joy to my mom, my grandparents, and to the people who sorrounded me with love.
I have been yearning of how it feels to belong a to a “real” family, how it feels to go to Jollibee with my daddy and mommy after my kindergarteen graduation, and how it feels to be loved by a father.
I’m not so like the other 17-year-olds. I don’t have a father waiting for me impatiently at home whenever I go home late. I have a Loius Vuitton wallet (of course fake), but i don’t have any family picture in it. My classmates envy me for making it to the dean’s list for two consecutive semesters, but I envy them. They have fathers to cheer them up when they nearly flunked our Human Anatomy class. I needed a dad to share my happiness with.
Did i ever hate you? There were lots of times that i was tempted to. I know you think that I do. But I don’t, I never did. In my heart, I have already forgiven you. Mom taught me taht.
Sometimes before i lseep, I wonder…Does Daddy also think what it would be like when we see each other? Do you ever think of such things dad? Every night when I saymy prayers, I pause for several seconds. You know why? I made a deal with God. Every time I do this, God understands that these silent moments are meant to ask Him to bless you.
Whatever it was between youand Mom I hope time already mended. I don’t intent to pull you away from your family because I know how it feels to grow up without a father.
I cannot be complete without you. Until the day that our paths will cross, I will wait. And wait. And wait.
I admire the girl who wrote this letter. I love her honesty in writing a letter to an unseen dad. I can relate in some way not because I don’t have a father but i can relate for my daughter. maybe one day, my daughter can pen up a letter similar to this. But still it is my hope that they gonna meet up and talk before any letter like this can be composed.
I woke up to loud talking this morning. It was my parents. It was still 6 am and i was already awaken by their loud voices. I can’t help to listen until i can hear shouts. They sound like they wanna kill each other. The man threatening the woman and the woman is unafraid. Me who was listening was the one afraid. 
I really hate moments like this. I have seen and heard scenes like this since i was a child, and now that am old, i still hear the same stuff. It was really sad. Their fightings when i was still small have a great bad impact on me but anyway, i thought of my daughter. She was in the other bedroom and i know she heard it too. Maybe she will grow up thinking that it’s ok to fight and ok to kill each other.
I was scared for the woman this morning. But i have to leave at 8 am because i had a class at 8:30 so i really dunno what transpired next. She was suppose to have a meeting at Cagayan de Oro but when i got home past 3 pm, she was there resting. I aksed her why she did not go, she said, her heart feels heavy and painful. So, that was the result of the fight.
Anyway, all is ok for now and somehow that man will not come back to bother the woman again. How i really wish for that. How i wish the man will just go back to the place where he belongs – his hometown so that we will all leave in peace.
Tagged by Aeirin. Thanks, sis!
Players: Ozzy’s Mom | Me, Myself + 2 | Kidd Designs | Fun.Fierce.Fabulous | Me and Mine | Little Peanut | Pea in a Pod | Creative in Me | Notable Bistro | Sugarmagnolias |Around the World | Random Thoughts | My Colorful World | Explore Manila | Me and Mine | Just Me Eds | Vhiel’s Corner | When SAHM-one Speaks | Aeirin’s Collection | Joys in Life | YOUR BLOG
1. When was your first kiss and where?
- I am sure it was in college and it was somewhere in the campus. LOL!
2. When was your first real relationship and how long did it last?
- All were real, come on. hahahaha and the first one was i was 14. It was official because it was my first love and first heartbroken. It lasted for 8 months til he moved to another school and we never meet and talk again.
3. What age were you allowed to date?
- there was no age limit but i think my mom trusted me to have that bf/gf relationship when i was still in highschool coz she was not mad at me. I was scared of my dad for his threats but i told him – talk to mom and no more threats nor angry words from him.
4. What’s the craziest thing you did (for love) when you were a teenager?
- detouring. i was 4th year in highschool. my campus leave was for home (iligan) but i didn’t go there instead with my bestfried because the parents of my guy invited me over for the week-end.
5. How long was your longest relationship and what’s the secret?
- 5 years. It’s an LDR. Trust and open mindedness and tibay ng loob.
6. How long did you date before you decided to settle down?
- we were more than a year then i decided when i was already 8 months pregnant with my son.
7. How did you know he was the ONE?
- honestly, i didn’t feel it right. But i heed on advices. I let the advices work for me.
8. Now, at what age will you allow your kids(s) to date?
- maybe 4th year in highschool if she can really wait that long. date as in simply dating lang ha!
9. When it comes to your kids dating, will you be a cool parent or a strict parent?
- probably i will be a cool one mixed with abit of strictness.
10. What piece of advice can you give to your child when they start dating?
- never go out alone. just go group dating and don’t go to places where it’s conducive for cuddling, kissing, or activities that will forget that what you are doing is wrong.
Am going to pass this tag to:
Hailey
Jeannette
Teacher Julie
Jesslyn
Angie
and anyone who likes to snag this tag.
Yesterday, Dimple and I went out to the city. It was more of a store hopping than shopping because i don’t have money for normal shopping. I can’t treat her either to some pizza because i haven’t withdrawn my winning yet and i also don’t have anyone to borrow the money from worth 20 dollars in pesos. But i have few pesoses so when we were on our way, i told her, you are allowed to buy whatever you like in the amount of P20.00. She was very happy.
When we reached the big “chinese shop – Uni City” we roamed around then we separate ways. She was on her way on the other aisle while i was on my way. I Know she can find me around. After some 10 minutes we roamed all the aisles together. Then i said, there’s nothing to buy here, we can go then she said “oops, i am going to buy something.” hahahaaha i laughed at her. She let me wait for her in one corner as she went to fetch her goods. In her mind her goods must just be within the P20.00 but she said before we arrived at the cashier, there are many nice things but it’s too expensive. They are more than P20.00. I was not sure if she was telling me or she was just talking to herself.
That was my first time to do like this. Give her a budget if she goes with me for grocery. Then she asked me later, when are we going to go out again? Am i still going to have P20.00? I just smiled at her.
By the way, she bought a small coloring book and 3 pcs erasers worth P19.00. I asked her what will she do with the 1.00, she replied, I am going to buy a candy. hehehehe but she never did. I bought some food for her more than 1.00. Siya pa ang may utang sa akin. hahaha.
Really these days am not giving her any allowance. last year she carry P5.00 each day but now, it’s not regular anymore. Just when i have extra money. She does not complain because i really tell her the other important expenses i need to cover up. ON this part, i can say – she’s really a good girl.
